Humans In Danger of Annihilation From Global Warming and Zombies, But Life Possible Elsewhere




Liberal Values


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

There are two news stories regarding potential danger to the human race.

The BBC reports on methane escaping from the Arctic sea bed, which possibly could accelerate the rate of global warming. This danger sounds trivial when compared to yet another BBC report on how zombies can destroy the human race.

I’ve feared that zombies were a real danger ever since they invaded the world of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

The above report on the dangers of zombies did come out of Canada. So much for the claims that socialized medicine stifles important medical research. From the report:

In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity’s only hope is to “hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often”.

They added: “It’s imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else… we are all in a great deal of trouble.”

According to the researchers, the key difference between the zombies and the spread of real infections is that “zombies can come back to life”.

Fortunately there is a chance to fight them:

Professor Ferguson went on to joke: “The paper considers something that many of us have worried about – particularly in our younger days – of what would be a feasible way of tackling an outbreak of a rapidly spreading zombie infection.

“My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it’s dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days.

It appears that between global warming and zombies we might be doomed.

Fortunately there is also some good science news today. The amino acid glycine has been found in a comet according to a NASA astrobiologist.

Finding such a building block of life on a comet might suggest that such building blocks of life can be spread to many planets. This potentially could lead to the development of life on another planet which is free of zombies and Jane Austen novels.
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America has problems.

We can fix that.

America is not THE problem.

Next time. Vote for the AMERICAN.