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#88758 --- 12/27/04 01:56 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
RubyJuly Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 3183
Hola, I firmly believe that abortion is only a course of last resort and should never be taken lightly. I do question the health consquences of a 15 yr old body trying to carry and deliver an infant. But - she made it through the physical trauma, but the emotional trauma was yet to come. I think of quite a few childless couples i know who would give anything to protect and love that child, and how sad that it's little life came to an end in such a violent way. So so very sad.

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#88759 --- 12/27/04 02:22 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
E. Mousie Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 15851
Loc: in my suite in the bookcase!
I know someone who had a baby at seventeen and 3/4 and she did a complete turnaround on her life once she held the baby. Yes, the birth was a roughie, and I doubt she will ever have another but to see the family pull together around her and helping her through those difficult first months was impressive.
Her child has a family that cared enough to help her out, and to keep everything on a even keel. The family can make a huge difference!
_________________________
sanity......hmmm, I can't even remember what that is!

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#88760 --- 12/27/04 03:46 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Hola Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 07/27/04
Posts: 1402
Thanks for clarifying RubyJuly.

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#88761 --- 12/27/04 04:16 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Jazzmine Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 05/28/01
Posts: 1841
Loc: Waterloo, NY
Quote:

There is no way a 15 yr old should first of all be having sex




LOL get real! 15 is quite old to be having sex THESE days. We are lucky if 10, 11, 12 year olds aren't getting pregnant!!!! I'm not saying it's right.. it's just reality.. There are many situations where there is NO family or the family that is there does NOT care.. so whats to happen then?

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#88762 --- 12/27/04 05:46 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Z Genius Lusifer Offline
Diamond Member

Registered: 11/16/01
Posts: 27999
Loc: inside your head & under your ...
by 15 I had had 4 fourteen year old's and 1 sixteen year old.
_________________________
Humble genius to the humanities & politicians

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#88763 --- 12/27/04 05:49 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Rascal Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 06/05/00
Posts: 17022
Loc: Brewerton, NY, USA
Quote:

by 15 I had had 4 fourteen year old's and 1 sixteen year old.




And all family

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#88764 --- 12/27/04 05:50 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Z Genius Lusifer Offline
Diamond Member

Registered: 11/16/01
Posts: 27999
Loc: inside your head & under your ...
did they tell?
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Humble genius to the humanities & politicians

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#88765 --- 12/27/04 08:20 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Buddy Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 10/02/01
Posts: 19003
Loc: Southend {Mars}
Nope, my dad, delivered your girls, all hand puppets.
_________________________

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#88766 --- 12/28/04 01:44 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Eileen Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/28/04
Posts: 8
Loc: Corning, NY
Quote:

Hola, I firmly believe that abortion is only a course of last resort and should never be taken lightly. I do question the health consquences of a 15 yr old body trying to carry and deliver an infant. But - she made it through the physical trauma, but the emotional trauma was yet to come. I think of quite a few childless couples i know who would give anything to protect and love that child, and how sad that it's little life came to an end in such a violent way. So so very sad.




I had my son at 19. I am a great mother. There are PLENTY of girls, that get pregnant as young as 12, they keep the child and pretty much the child is "pawned" off on the grandparents. I have come across countless message boards on the internet about 11- 15 year olds being pregnant, I was appalled! (sp) I didn't realize there were so many GIRLS having babies. When I was 12, I was still playing with my barbie dolls!

But I was also smart to read about pregnancy and post partum when I was pregnant. I knew what was to come after I had my son, and what COULD come...like post-partum depression, which is more common then a lot of people think.

I think that if any young girl has a child under the age is I don't know...say 18, that they should be FORCED to take classes that teach you about your bbody, what it will go through, and what to expect afterwards.

Sorry if this offends anyone, or sounds rude. I don't mean for it to be.

Eileen
_________________________
~*~ Eileen ~*~
Mother to Jonathan Elijah 10-23-2003
& Alexander Thomas 02-16-2007

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#88767 --- 12/28/04 02:04 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
RubyJuly Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 3183
Eileen, I don't think your comments could ever be taken as offensive or rude. Frankly i think you are right on target. Some kind of manditory training should be provided in cases where the family cannot or will not get involved. We make kids take classes before they can operate an ATV, don't we? Classes are offered for gun safety and drivers safety, why not the most precious and risky responsibility of caring for an infant?

You mention that you had a baby at 19, well there are a whole lot of changes that take place between 15 and 19. I will never be convinced that any 15 yr old is capable of the maturity that is needed to raise an infant. Even between 15 and 17 there is a world of difference in the thought process and ability of a young girl. Again i just have to ask where are the medical professionals and caseworkers in this situation???

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#88768 --- 12/28/04 02:08 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
past tense Offline
Diamond Member

Registered: 03/05/03
Posts: 29711
Loc: Houston, TX
WOOOOOOOOO!


I like Eileen. Problem is sister, that "teaching women about their bodies" means (to the radical, freaky, conservative right) encouraging them to have sex. Unfortunately these pasty, dough-y, old, white, men seem to think if we know where everything IS we'll automatically USE IT.
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http://blogs.fingerlakes1.com/snowcones/

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#88769 --- 12/28/04 02:14 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
RubyJuly Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 3183
Hmmm... Eileen sounds way too reasonable and sane to be in THIS playgroup! LOL

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#88770 --- 12/28/04 02:22 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
drummom Offline
Member

Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 254
Loc: Arizona
What do you want the medical professionals and caseworkers to do? Force the girl to give the baby up for adoption? Why would a caseworker be involved at all if a 15 year old is pregnant and not having any problems? We have many many many young girls out here having babies, the youngest I have seen was an 11 year old raped by her 18 year old uncle. Luckily, the family had him arrested and deported back to his own country. Unfortunatly, there are many 14-17 year olds who think they are mature enough to handle having a baby. The hospital I work for opened a Maternity ward in February of 2002. So far, we have had multiple young girls returning for their second and sometimes third births since the opening. Caseworkers at the hospital can call CPS is if there is evidence of drug abues, physical abuse or a young girl (usually under 16) and the father of the baby is much older. But that doesnt mean CPS can do anything about it. We had one patient that had her baby at 15, the father of the baby was 34. The mother of the 15 year old thought he was just wonderful, and encouraged the relationship. She got investigated by CPS for child abuse.
So while I wish there was something that could be done, I dont know what it is. Hopefully people will wake up and realize that babies are not dolls and cant be put back in the toy box when you are tired of playing with them

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#88771 --- 12/28/04 02:30 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
RubyJuly Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 3183
Thanks for a reply from the trenches. I cannot imagine having to see the same children returning for a 2nd or 3rd pregnancy. But i truly believe that there needs to be some kind of monitoring or counseling that hapens when such a young girl is found to be pregnant. Why can't family services or some other agency get involved? If a child of 13, 14, 15 turns up pregnant doesn't that indicate that there is a problem within the family? Someone was not paying attention, someone was not parenting this kid in order for her to get pregnant. Even when it happens despite parental oversight, wouldn't a responsible parent know that giving up the child for adoption the sensible thing to do? Shouldn't there be an unemotional 3rd party to help the family cope and make decisions? To address your comment, if a 15 yr old is pregnant, then that IS a problem!

No, i am not suggesting that medical professionals "talk her into" an abortion or an adoption. But as a medical professional don't you agree that a young body can be harmed by the stress of carrying an infant and then giving birth? Couldn't a difficult birth from an immature body deprive the girl of the ability to successfully give birth in the future?

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#88772 --- 12/28/04 02:47 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Eileen Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/28/04
Posts: 8
Loc: Corning, NY
In a sense, you are doomed if you do ( teach about pregnancy/body ) and doomed if you don't.

If you do, it may promote sexual activity and there may be more young pregnancies. But at the same time, if you don't teach about pregnancy, many young females might not recognize the symptoms of pregnancy, therefore there might not be any pre-natal care until their 2nd or 3rd trimesters. The first trimester is the most critical for care.

I would LOVE to go to HS's and talk to classes to tell them how it ISN'T easy, how I ended up with a emergency c-section, and a child that was born with health issues, stuff I never even thought about.

But I am not sure if they have anything like that here. In FL, they had some teens come in to talk to us.
_________________________
~*~ Eileen ~*~
Mother to Jonathan Elijah 10-23-2003
& Alexander Thomas 02-16-2007

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#88773 --- 12/28/04 02:50 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
drummom Offline
Member

Registered: 08/06/03
Posts: 254
Loc: Arizona
I agree, it is a problem, but since there arent enough caseworkers for the "real" problems ie child abuse, molestations, etc, this would fall way down the ladder. I wish that these parents would just "get over themselves" and be responsible parents. I work with a women that had twins at 15 and a 3rd baby at 16. I notice that alot of times she acts just like a teenager, mooning over boyband pictures, hanging out with her friends and basically ignoring her kids. I asked her what was up and her reply almost knocked me over. She said and I quote "I didnt get to be a teenager because I was having babies, so now I am trying to get back my lost years" I told her that was her problem, those years are gone and start acting like an adult. Whats really funny is her twins are now almost 15 and they are more mature than she is.
I wish there was something that could be done, but I just dont what it could be.

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#88774 --- 12/28/04 02:56 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Eileen Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 12/28/04
Posts: 8
Loc: Corning, NY
Quote:

I agree, it is a problem, but since there arent enough caseworkers for the "real" problems ie child abuse, molestations, etc, this would fall way down the ladder. I wish that these parents would just "get over themselves" and be responsible parents. I work with a women that had twins at 15 and a 3rd baby at 16. I notice that alot of times she acts just like a teenager, mooning over boyband pictures, hanging out with her friends and basically ignoring her kids. I asked her what was up and her reply almost knocked me over. She said and I quote "I didnt get to be a teenager because I was having babies, so now I am trying to get back my lost years" I told her that was her problem, those years are gone and start acting like an adult. Whats really funny is her twins are now almost 15 and they are more mature than she is.
I wish there was something that could be done, but I just dont what it could be.




Wow. I could never do that. Like you said, those years passed. It was her decision to have sex at a young age, protection or not, you know the consequences of sex, PREGNANCY.
_________________________
~*~ Eileen ~*~
Mother to Jonathan Elijah 10-23-2003
& Alexander Thomas 02-16-2007

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#88775 --- 12/28/04 07:44 PM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
Anonymous
Unregistered


Like I said before I had my first son at 5 and my 2nd one is 18 months...takes a strong person. I was one of the lucky ones and didn't go thru the post partum...I couldn't imagine. These pregnant girls should take a class and use REAL babies...not the ones that have the "smart chip" puh-leez.

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#88776 --- 12/29/04 08:34 AM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
RubyJuly Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/11/03
Posts: 3183
According to last night's Citizen, the father of the baby is 23. That means he was 22 when he impregnated a 15 year old girl. Statutory rape laws are on the books for a reason..... and i am editing this post because i see that he was sentenced to 10 yrs probation for raping the girl. So essentially, as Emily Lytella would say on Saturday Night Live so many years ago.... "Oh. Never mind."


Edited by RubyJuly (12/29/04 09:10 AM)

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#88777 --- 12/29/04 09:28 AM Re: Another Murder in Auburn
sassyone Offline
Silver Member

Registered: 05/26/01
Posts: 11439
Loc: Seneca Falls,NY,
10 years probation?? Who the heck was the judge in that case?

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