My friend in NM sent me this.. really cute. My fav is the tell the truth one.
> > Zen Isims
> > 1. Do not walk behind me, for I
> > may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
> > me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me
> > either. Just pretty
> > much leave me alone.
> > 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
> > broken fan belt or a
> > leaky tire.
> > 3. It's always darkest before dawn, so
> > if you're going to steal your
> > neighbor's newspaper, that's the
> > time to do it.
> > 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't
> > be replaced, you can't be promoted.
> > 5. Always remember that you're
> > unique.. Just like everyone else.
> > 6. Never test the depth of the water
> > with both feet.
> > 7. If you think nobody cares if you 're
> > alive, try missing a couple of car
> > payments.
> > 8. Before you criticize someone, you
> > should walk a mile in their shoes.
> > That way, when you criticize them,
> > you're a mile away and you have
> > their shoes.
> > 9. If at first you don't succeed......
> > skydiving is not for you.
> > 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat
> > for a day. Teach him how to fish,
> > and he will sit in a boat and drink
> > all day.
> > 11. If you tell the truth, you don't
> > have to remember anything.
> > 12. Some days you're the bug, some
> > days you're the windshield.
> > 13. Everyone seems normal until you
> > get to know them..
> > 14. The quickest way to double your
> > money is to fold it in half and put
> > it back in your pocket.
> > 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> > 16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It
> > has a light side and a dark side,
> > and it holds the universe together.
> > 17. There are two theories to arguing
> > with a woman - Neither one
> > works.
> > 18. Generally speaking, you aren't
> > learning much when your lips are
> > moving.
> > 19. Experience is something you don't
> > get until just after you need it.
> > 20. Never, under any circumstances,
> > take a sleeping pill and a laxative