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#818780 --- 05/31/08 01:26 AM Drama queen issues, etc-
almostrelieved Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 06/16/05
Posts: 999
Loc: Waterloo, NY
Ok we have a 5 year old girl who we've been having trouble with and her behavior. She is such a drama queen and has a smart comment for just about everything you say. When we ask her to go upstairs to take a shower, she has to put up a fuss and then starts the drama. Or when her cousins leave (like they always do after their parent comes to pick them up after they get out of work), she has to start in with, "I'm so bored now. I won't be able to finish the game.", then proceeds to "throw" herself down on the ground and get all dirty. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to handle/deal with this? This has been going on for over 3 years now and as time goes by, it's getting worse. Would behavioral counseling help? She's our oldest and we just had a baby 6 weeks ago (her little brother). We thought that she was acting this way to get attention but she's been doing this even before the baby came. Ugh! My hubby and I are at wits end and this summer is going to be hell. She's playing kickball thru the local rec and then taking swimming lessons. After that, nothing. Any advice here would be greatly appreciated.

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#818792 --- 05/31/08 04:49 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: almostrelieved]
HeavenlyPlaces Offline
Diamond Member

Registered: 02/26/02
Posts: 21990
Loc: Someplace Else
First I have to wonder why you've let it go on for 3 years. That's over 1/2 this child's life at this point and makes it much more difficult to re-train. The time to nip bad behavior in the bud is when it starts. That said, I'd just keep pushing through the drama until she's done whatever it is she's been told (NOT asked - you are the parent after all) to do. For instance, while you're telling her to take a shower you should be calmly and gently moving her body in that direction, using a firm but even tone of voice and ignoring any and all resistence tactics until the task is done. It will take more effort initially but when her dramatics aren't rewarded she'll eventually just stop.
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#818825 --- 05/31/08 05:48 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: HeavenlyPlaces]
sparky's back Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/12/07
Posts: 9386
Loc: At Home..in the kitchen!!
You really have to let them know you're in charge first of all..My son who is 6 gets a time for alot of things..8:30 am he HAS to brush his teeth..8:30 pm he HAS to take a shower..my daughter knows that on Tuesday's she HAS to clean the litterbox. You have to follow through with what you expect from her. I have a 9 month old that I watch..that listens to me when I say NO..he stops whatever he is doing and goes onto something else that he knows he is allowed to do. I have 2 year olds that eat at the table with spoons or forks who's parents say..they won't do it at home..cause they don't make them behave at home..that's why!!!Maybe you could have an activity for you and your daughter to do WHEN the friends/cousins leave..just you and her time.My son and I have cuddle/reading time everyday for just us.My Grand Daughters and I have our gardening time,for just us..I bet if you give her just you and her time and TELL her what she has to do..things will change.
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#818834 --- 05/31/08 05:58 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: sparky's back]
Scottie2Hottie Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 01/27/03
Posts: 16463
Loc: aka Brightside
Watch Nanny 911 or SuperNanny on TV for more tips

The ONLY reason she behaves this way, is because you ALLOW her to act this way. You have to nip it NOW or before you know it your newborn will start acting the same way.. they learn by example if he sees her acting this way and getting away with it... soon enough he will be doing it as well.
My daughter is 14 and my wife can still make her stop dead in her tracks from across the room with just a raised eyebrow. No words, no yelling, no screaming, no hitting,... just "the look"! It is actually rather comical to watch
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#818839 --- 05/31/08 06:02 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Scottie2Hottie]
sparky's back Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/12/07
Posts: 9386
Loc: At Home..in the kitchen!!
LOL..yup..I have the "LOOK" too!!!
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BBQ..June 27th..be there or be square..
Bring something for The House of Concern please!












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#818845 --- 05/31/08 06:08 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: sparky's back]
Scottie2Hottie Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 01/27/03
Posts: 16463
Loc: aka Brightside
LOL it's great! Holly learned "the Look" from her Mother.... My wife is going to be 34 this year and her mother's "look" still works too!
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No Mullet...NO Glory!!

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#818849 --- 05/31/08 06:18 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: sparky's back]
Where's the love Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 5841
Loc: Tahiti - I can dream...
I had these same issues when my daughter was 10 yrs old. She wanted attention. (she's 14 now - and really wants me to leave her alone now - but too late, she drove me crazy at 10 and I'm gonna pay her back at 14!)
Her behavior is all based on YOU. Surprisingly, she has the behavior problem but you are to blame (doesn't seem quite fair, right?) When it comes time for her cousins to leave, start an activity with her ... 5:30pm is 15 minutes of snuggle time, take a walk with Mom, or helping to stir whats cooking on the stove. Anything YOU can do with her that you make fun. Something that makes her look forward to her cousins leaving. You don't have to do more than 15 minutes because kids don't have long attention spans! Follow it up with allowing something creative with Dad in the evening for 15 minutes. Giving an extra hug and positive feedback helps. Hold your tongue and don't ever tell her "not now" or "I'm busy with the baby". Just say, "that sounds like fun".
Train yourself first and your kids will ease into this. Kids learn faster than us adults!
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Nope...more like borrowing the bull, but not having to put up with the "manure"

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#818855 --- 05/31/08 06:29 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Where's the love]
Where's the love Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 5841
Loc: Tahiti - I can dream...
When I do get irratated by my kids behavior, I change their names and call them Julia (Roberts) and Sandra (Bullock) - because they act like drama queens. One will have the tiniest scratch and insists she is bleeding to death, I say it only works if you put the back of your hand to your forehead and sway a little, that way I know your going to faint. The last time I laid her on the couch, grabbed toilet paper and duct tape and made this monstrous bandage for a tiny scrape and I tell them how I saw this done on TV.
My kids rarely bug me about this stuff anymore. I think I'm going to get paid back one day by living in a nursing home...the county or state run one!
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Nope...more like borrowing the bull, but not having to put up with the "manure"

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#818929 --- 05/31/08 09:36 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Where's the love]
goingcrazyinny Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 02/05/05
Posts: 1632
Loc: NY
Unfortunatley, I have to agree that her drama is your own fault. It can be a result of not being firm enough, and her being used to you being home with her alone for so many years. She got things on demand, and your undivided attention for years, and now acts out to try to compete for attention.
Don't let her get away with being mouthy when it really matters (like when told to get ready for bed), take away privledges like treats or time on the swingset or watching tv. But the rest of the time, Ignore her. Choose your battles.
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#819015 --- 05/31/08 11:37 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Where's the love]
The Brain Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 3457
Loc: Looking to deport Rappers.
Originally Posted By: Where's the love
The last time I laid her on the couch, grabbed toilet paper and duct tape and made this monstrous bandage for a tiny scrape and I tell them how I saw this done on TV.


Well done. This made me chuckle.
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#819048 --- 05/31/08 12:41 PM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: The Brain]
almostrelieved Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 06/16/05
Posts: 999
Loc: Waterloo, NY
Thanks everyone but we've tried EVERYTHING that you've suggested. We've tried ignoring her, taking away privileges, being firm with her (this really doesn't work since she either mouths back or says a smart comment or starts arguing with you)...we thought she was doing this to get any kind of attention but seems like she just is like this. We've tried spending more time with her (reading books, etc) but once again, we suggest something to her or correct her for something and she starts in. No matter what we do, she starts in. We've even thought of returning her to counseling but not sure even if that will help. We thought by enrolling her into kickball and swim lessons would help (but that only takes an hour out of the day). She keeps asking to have either friends/family come over or go over to their houses. Another words, she can't wait until her brother gets big enough to play with. She wants to play with someone NOW! We've tried being "the boss" but it doesn't work. I wish I could just give her "the look" and get a response from her. Some day...thanks again everyone.

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#819097 --- 05/31/08 03:16 PM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: almostrelieved]
Where's the love Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 5841
Loc: Tahiti - I can dream...
stop and think about this. If this was you...you get yelled at, ignored, had your stuff taken away...what would be your first impulse? Probably the snotty comeback remark, right? Your daughter is acting rationally. We all do it as adults. Electric bill comes, its $900 and no matter how little you pay, the threat is there that they will come and turn it off. How do we respond? We blame the electric company, we go off how they are ripping us off...blah blah blah, right? Your child is normal. She doesn't need therapy. As a parent, we need a book to go to for behavior issues, turn to page 152, paragraph 6. Wish it was that easy. Your daughter is bored. She likes to be stimulated with playmates and fun times. It's time to tap into the positive sides of her behavior and reward her for the good stuff; not punish her for the bad. Punishing her for the bad is just your knee jerk reaction to her mouthiness. Politely tell her, those are not nice words and are not appreciated in this house. When you can talk politely we can talk. In the meantime, please sit quietly until you can apologize and we can have a nice conversation. Training yourself not to react to the negative is hard! Your childs behavior centers around YOU.
_________________________
Nope...more like borrowing the bull, but not having to put up with the "manure"

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#819098 --- 05/31/08 03:16 PM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: almostrelieved]
Where's the love Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 5841
Loc: Tahiti - I can dream...
stop and think about this. If this was you...you get yelled at, ignored, had your stuff taken away...what would be your first impulse? Probably the snotty comeback remark, right? Your daughter is acting rationally. We all do it as adults. Electric bill comes, its $900 and no matter how little you pay, the threat is there that they will come and turn it off. How do we respond? We blame the electric company, we go off how they are ripping us off...blah blah blah, right? Your child is normal. She doesn't need therapy. As a parent, we need a book to go to for behavior issues, turn to page 152, paragraph 6. Wish it was that easy. Your daughter is bored. She likes to be stimulated with playmates and fun times. It's time to tap into the positive sides of her behavior and reward her for the good stuff; not punish her for the bad. Punishing her for the bad is just your knee jerk reaction to her mouthiness. Politely tell her, those are not nice words and are not appreciated in this house. When you can talk politely we can talk. In the meantime, please sit quietly until you can apologize and we can have a nice conversation. Training yourself not to react to the negative is hard! Your childs behavior centers around YOU.
_________________________
Nope...more like borrowing the bull, but not having to put up with the "manure"

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#819142 --- 05/31/08 06:45 PM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Where's the love]
sparky's back Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/12/07
Posts: 9386
Loc: At Home..in the kitchen!!
We focus on "choices"..and how there are good and bad ones..I also use re-direction,with the smaller ones. They get 3 strikes..which never gets past one with my son..he has to explain his actions in his own words,then we talk about what happened and what the better choices would have been. I am very lucky that he is very well behaved..for now.
_________________________
BBQ..June 27th..be there or be square..
Bring something for The House of Concern please!












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#819310 --- 06/01/08 06:27 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: sparky's back]
Stella Offline
Member

Registered: 06/01/08
Posts: 295
Loc: NY,Seneca County
Aren't you just mother of the year. As far as the posters problem it is HER fault she has been raising a little brat and once they hit the age of 3 you pretty much can not re train them,good luck.
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#819334 --- 06/01/08 07:59 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Stella]
Where's the love Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 5841
Loc: Tahiti - I can dream...
WRONG! Kids are meant to learn. They are trainable. Adults are too. Patience. Time.
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Nope...more like borrowing the bull, but not having to put up with the "manure"

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#819609 --- 06/01/08 08:04 PM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Stella]
Yetta Nother Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 12/26/06
Posts: 17682
Loc: Sunny and warm
Originally Posted By: Stella
Aren't you just mother of the year. As far as the posters problem it is HER fault she has been raising a little brat and once they hit the age of 3 you pretty much can not re train them,good luck.


Wow. Registered for a day and already your such a nice person. First off....Sparky has had 7 kids...plenty of grandchildren....oh and runs a full daycare. I would say my personal opinion that she handles everything pretty well and if I had to vote I would damn sure vote her mother of the year. She has the patience of a Saint....so stick that in your 2nd day of posting!

Oh and my advice for this situation....send your 5 year old to Sparkys house for a week.....when she comes home...the bahavior will be gone. I'll almost bet money on it. Hi Sparky......I missed you while I was away. \:D
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died...

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#819657 --- 06/01/08 10:30 PM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Yetta Nother]
past tense Offline
Diamond Member

Registered: 03/05/03
Posts: 29711
Loc: Houston, TX
I always cringe when a parent comes on here and starts a thread like this because responses like Stella's are inevitable.

No one - NO ONE - is more judgemental than another parent about how others parent their kids.

#2138739017389017 on the list of reasons I love being childless.
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#819663 --- 06/01/08 10:49 PM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Stella]
VM Smith Offline
Diamond Member

Registered: 11/28/05
Posts: 38160
Loc: Ship of Fools
Originally Posted By: Stella
Aren't you just mother of the year. As far as the posters problem it is HER fault she has been raising a little brat and once they hit the age of 3 you pretty much can not re train them,good luck.


Judging by your understanding, sensitive response, your solution would most likely be to taser both the mother and child. Did I guess wrong? Have I misjudged your attitude?
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#819696 --- 06/02/08 04:15 AM Re: Drama queen issues, etc- [Re: Yetta Nother]
sparky's back Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 11/12/07
Posts: 9386
Loc: At Home..in the kitchen!!
Originally Posted By: Yetta Nother
Originally Posted By: Stella
Aren't you just mother of the year. As far as the posters problem it is HER fault she has been raising a little brat and once they hit the age of 3 you pretty much can not re train them,good luck.


Wow. Registered for a day and already your such a nice person. First off....Sparky has had 7 kids...plenty of grandchildren....oh and runs a full daycare. I would say my personal opinion that she handles everything pretty well and if I had to vote I would damn sure vote her mother of the year. She has the patience of a Saint....so stick that in your 2nd day of posting!

Oh and my advice for this situation....send your 5 year old to Sparkys house for a week.....when she comes home...the bahavior will be gone. I'll almost bet money on it. Hi Sparky......I missed you while I was away. \:D



I missed you too baby!!..(Thanks for the back up here)
I am NOT Mother of the year.. unless you ask one of my kids ...I was sharing what works for me..which with my Max I rarely have to use cause he IS well mannered and behaved..ask anyone that knows him. \:\)
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BBQ..June 27th..be there or be square..
Bring something for The House of Concern please!












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