Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a
foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped
and discovered a nude female dead drunk.
Out of respect and propriety, the Red Sox fan took off his cap and
placed it over her right breast. The Tigers fan took off his cap and
placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankees fan
took off his cap and placed it over her crotch.
The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his
inspection. First, he lifted up the Red Sox cap, replaced it, and
wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Tigers cap, replaced it,
and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees
cap, replace it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third
time, and replaced it one last time.
The Yankees fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a
pervert or something?" "Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting
and looking?" "Well," said the officer, "I am simply surprised;
normally when I look under a Yankees hat, I find an asshole.
When you look at your investments and wet your pants.