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#1382962 - 01/16/13 04:25 PM Bullying
MeganWakeman Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/16/13
Posts: 1
Loc: Penn Yan, NY USA
This is a letter the my cousin Melissa Hopkins Wrote Concerining her 13 year old Son and Bullying I would like to help her and her family anyway that I can Please if you have any direction to help us it would be greatly Appreciated! Thank you Megan Wakeman

copied from a letter that I wrote to newspapers and TV news
To whom it may concern,
My name is Melissa Hopkins, I have four children in the Penn Yan school district. I am writing to you to voice my concern for my oldest son, David. He is 13 and in grade eight.. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, acid reflex, ODD, asthma and restless leg syndrome so he has a hard time sitting still.
He has been bullied since grade 3. He has had some trouble in the past due to bulling. The school is holding that against him. My son has been slammed head first into lockers and walls. He has had a badly bruised elbow. This all was while he is in the Middle School.
On Monday, January 13, 2013, I took him to the emergency room due to a lump on the side of his head. He told me that it happened during recess and two children had hit him 4x in the head. He has a mild concussion. I took him to the doctors on Tuesday, January 14, 2013, the doctor said that he has post concussion syndrome. I then called the school to notify them that I was keeping him out of school for the rest of the week. When talking to the dean of students he said to me “due to David’s past history of not being truthful, I will have to check out the facts.” “There is no way you can have post concussion syndrome if you get a concussion the day before” said the dean of students. On January 16,2013, I had a meeting with the vice principal and the dean of students. They told me that they are still investigating the incident. I told them that he had said to me that he didn't want to go back to the school because he felt it was unsafe. They told me that they would take him out of recess (to avoid anymore injuries) and take him out of gum until his head is better, I then said that if they took him out of gym if they had a weigh room where he could go during that time. They said yes. They also said that he will be allowed to leave either a few minutes early or later to go to his locker for the next class so that avoids anymore injuries. I then got a call from the school’s police officer and asked him if I could file a police report. He tells me that being that David didn't say anything to anyone and denied ice from the nurse he couldn't write up a report! REALLY, my son has been assaulted and the officer won’t file a report? David is suppose to go back to school on Tuesday January 22,2013, he doesn't want to go! I don’t know where else to turn. This just breaks my heart that he is being treated like this. All David wants to do is go to college and be a mechanic like his dad and this school is treating him like this and he feels it is unsafe for him to go! I understand that he has behavior issues and we are working on that but to deny him a safe environment to learn is beyond me. If anyone can help us with this situation and give me some advice I am up for any ideas! I oppose bulling and I would like something done to ensure that my son and others like him don’t end up with more serious injuries.

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#1382968 - 01/16/13 04:40 PM Re: Bullying [Re: MeganWakeman]
Mean Gene Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 2259
Loc: Yates County
My sympathy to you regarding your problem. Of course there are two sides to every story. I used to say there were two sides to every story and the truth sometimes lies in the middle.

The school always did and probably still does have a no fighting policy. In otherwords, if someone punched your son he has to retreat and go to the office and report it. If he becomes engaged in an altercation at the school they suspend all parties involved. They then sort out the length of the suspension. Been there, done that. Its the way it is.

He should immediatly report to the school office if anyone bullies him. Being a teenager he probably is not into "ratting" on people. If he wants it to stop he should report incidents immediatly when ever they happen. In a school setting there are usually witnesses around who can verify what happened and there are cameras all over the school recording what happens.

As far as SRO Dawes, I have found him to be a straight shooter, he does what he feels is the right thing. He has been at the school many years and has been a fixture there due to his ability to work cooperatively with the school when problems arise.

I am assuming you have already looked at a BOCES option re-your son wanting to be a mechanic? I know from experience it is hard to look at something in an imparital manner when your own child is involved. Try and sort out with the school officials the best thing for your son. Good Luck!!!
_________________________
"Rational arguments based upon ample evidence will not change the minds of irrational people"

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#1383223 - 01/17/13 08:08 PM Re: Bullying [Re: MeganWakeman]
j3668py Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/10
Posts: 483
Loc: new york
Originally Posted By: MeganWakeman
This is a letter the my cousin Melissa Hopkins Wrote Concerining her 13 year old Son and Bullying I would like to help her and her family anyway that I can Please if you have any direction to help us it would be greatly Appreciated! Thank you Megan Wakeman

copied from a letter that I wrote to newspapers and TV news
To whom it may concern,
My name is Melissa Hopkins, I have four children in the Penn Yan school district. I am writing to you to voice my concern for my oldest son, David. He is 13 and in grade eight.. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, acid reflex, ODD, asthma and restless leg syndrome so he has a hard time sitting still.
He has been bullied since grade 3. He has had some trouble in the past due to bulling. The school is holding that against him. My son has been slammed head first into lockers and walls. He has had a badly bruised elbow. This all was while he is in the Middle School.
On Monday, January 13, 2013, I took him to the emergency room due to a lump on the side of his head. He told me that it happened during recess and two children had hit him 4x in the head. He has a mild concussion. I took him to the doctors on Tuesday, January 14, 2013, the doctor said that he has post concussion syndrome. I then called the school to notify them that I was keeping him out of school for the rest of the week. When talking to the dean of students he said to me “due to David’s past history of not being truthful, I will have to check out the facts.” “There is no way you can have post concussion syndrome if you get a concussion the day before” said the dean of students. On January 16,2013, I had a meeting with the vice principal and the dean of students. They told me that they are still investigating the incident. I told them that he had said to me that he didn't want to go back to the school because he felt it was unsafe. They told me that they would take him out of recess (to avoid anymore injuries) and take him out of gum until his head is better, I then said that if they took him out of gym if they had a weigh room where he could go during that time. They said yes. They also said that he will be allowed to leave either a few minutes early or later to go to his locker for the next class so that avoids anymore injuries. I then got a call from the school’s police officer and asked him if I could file a police report. He tells me that being that David didn't say anything to anyone and denied ice from the nurse he couldn't write up a report! REALLY, my son has been assaulted and the officer won’t file a report? David is suppose to go back to school on Tuesday January 22,2013, he doesn't want to go! I don’t know where else to turn. This just breaks my heart that he is being treated like this. All David wants to do is go to college and be a mechanic like his dad and this school is treating him like this and he feels it is unsafe for him to go! I understand that he has behavior issues and we are working on that but to deny him a safe environment to learn is beyond me. If anyone can help us with this situation and give me some advice I am up for any ideas! I oppose bulling and I would like something done to ensure that my son and others like him don’t end up with more serious injuries.
The dean of students is a waste of taxpayer's money, I would ask him if he is a licence doctor if not keep his foolish opinions to himself or you will report him to the proper authorities. The police must take a written complaint, that 's a court of appeals ruling.

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#1384377 - 01/24/13 11:49 AM Re: Bullying [Re: j3668py]
wgifan Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/24/13
Posts: 4
Loc: yates
Middle school is a horrible place but I feel PYMS is one of the worst. The students (that do the bullying) are manipulative and sneaky. The teachers can only be some many places and the students that do bully others know that. There also students that will get detentions/suspensions but it doesn't phase them. How many parents know what their kids are doing or how they are acting. I speak to my kids about hurting feelings / hands to themselves / and to be truthful (always! so they will trusted at all times) but I doubt some of the kids involved in my experiences have the same conversations.

My experience is "the situation is being handled" but I have gotten to the point of doubting the handling. What can they really do to these kids that have had detentions / suspensions and continue to be "bullies"... nothing? Is it like when someone threatens "or else"? This is setting the school, students and parents up for failure and that is what we are seeing at PYMs. We (parents & staff of PYCSD)are failing our kids by not making them accountable at HOME and School.

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#1384383 - 01/24/13 12:46 PM Re: Bullying [Re: wgifan]
Mean Gene Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 08/10/09
Posts: 2259
Loc: Yates County
Middle school years are difficult for alot of kids. I used to talk to kids having problems at school, or my own kids if it was just verbal stuff. I told them to use a defense mechanism by not acting upset if someone said something nasty or mean to them. That they should just act like what ever was said to them didn't bother them and carry on. If the verbal bullies didn't think it was bothering them they probably would lose intrest and direct their energy elsewhere.
_________________________
"Rational arguments based upon ample evidence will not change the minds of irrational people"

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#1384387 - 01/24/13 01:40 PM Re: Bullying [Re: Mean Gene]
wgifan Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/24/13
Posts: 4
Loc: yates
Yes if you don't let the bully know it hurts your feels they will direct their energy else were, when situation is verbal. But this is a emotional age group so emotions do show when you try not too let it. Oh and then there is the physical bullies. My experiences well the verbal can only be ignored some of the time and the physical can be reported so much.

I know you mean well but the current PYMS needs more than ignoring and telling an adult. BECAUSE in my experience I have used those same phrases to my kids and eventually they did tell me that I have no clue exactly what is going on and how bad it is everyday. I think this is a problem that goes well beyond blaming the school, we all need to help. We being the community, students, ALL parents and school. We all need to work on this and keep on top of this.

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#1384732 - 01/26/13 07:20 PM Re: Bullying [Re: wgifan]
dj205 Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 985
Loc: in my mind
Bullying has gone on since the beginning of time.
We'll never stop it.
As long as there are insecure kids that need to feel superior to "someone". There will be bullying.
When they are belittled at home, they can feel brave at school.
When they mean nothing to their families, they want to fight for respect among the happy kids at school.
Parents, love and respect your kids at home, so, they don't have to "bully" the kids at school for "it". (love & security).
It's your job! You had 'em, now, do your job!
_________________________
Wondering?

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#1384752 - 01/26/13 10:03 PM Re: Bullying [Re: dj205]
py.eternal.cynic Offline
Member

Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 129
Loc: inside looking out
Because if you don't they will end up in jail or worse.

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#1385343 - 01/30/13 11:34 AM Re: Bullying [Re: dj205]
wgifan Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/24/13
Posts: 4
Loc: yates
exactly!! To bad these parents will never understand this.

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#1385757 - 02/02/13 11:00 AM Re: Bullying [Re: wgifan]
pylaker Offline
Member

Registered: 05/17/12
Posts: 27
Loc: yates
The bullying is getting real bad at the middle school and needs to be address soon.One parent i know removed their child and now attending a christian school.Oh guess what?the child parents sued the bullying child parents in court for tuition for that school.They won and they now have to pay the tuition up to graduation.Justice served.

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#1386183 - 02/05/13 11:14 AM Re: Bullying [Re: dj205]
secure white guy Offline
Member

Registered: 02/04/13
Posts: 247
Loc: NY
Originally Posted By: dj205
Bullying has gone on since the beginning of time.
We'll never stop it.
As long as there are insecure kids that need to feel superior to "someone". There will be bullying.
When they are belittled at home, they can feel brave at school.
When they mean nothing to their families, they want to fight for respect among the happy kids at school.
Parents, love and respect your kids at home, so, they don't have to "bully" the kids at school for "it". (love & security).
It's your job! You had 'em, now, do your job!


AMEN!

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#1386338 - 02/06/13 05:56 PM Re: Bullying [Re: pylaker]
j3668py Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/10
Posts: 483
Loc: new york
Originally Posted By: pylaker
The bullying is getting real bad at the middle school and needs to be address soon.One parent i know removed their child and now attending a christian school.Oh guess what?the child parents sued the bullying child parents in court for tuition for that school.They won and they now have to pay the tuition up to graduation.Justice served.
I find that story hard to swallow.

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#1386362 - 02/06/13 11:06 PM Re: Bullying [Re: j3668py]
pylaker Offline
Member

Registered: 05/17/12
Posts: 27
Loc: yates
First off don't care what yo u.Second don't want to know who your swallow

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#1386400 - 02/07/13 10:12 AM Re: Bullying [Re: pylaker]
FLDukes Offline
Member

Registered: 10/09/12
Posts: 57
Loc: Finger Lakes
Originally Posted By: pylaker
First off don't care what yo u.Second don't want to know who your swallow


English next time might help.

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#1386448 - 02/07/13 05:55 PM Re: Bullying [Re: FLDukes]
pylaker Offline
Member

Registered: 05/17/12
Posts: 27
Loc: yates
Sometimes Mr.English professor we do have problems with electronic equipment.Or do i sense some bullying to correct my English ? Either way i don't care.I'm use to the anal retentive responses on here.

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#1386449 - 02/07/13 06:16 PM Re: Bullying [Re: pylaker]
j3668py Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/10
Posts: 483
Loc: new york
Originally Posted By: pylaker
Sometimes Mr.English professor we do have problems with electronic equipment.Or do i sense some bullying to correct my English ? Either way i don't care.I'm use to the anal retentive responses on here.
You also have a problem with telling the truth.

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#1386468 - 02/07/13 10:30 PM Re: Bullying [Re: j3668py]
pylaker Offline
Member

Registered: 05/17/12
Posts: 27
Loc: yates
I did state wrong in my earlier post about graduation.The bullies parents only will be paying for a year and a half of tuition up to 8th grade graduation.MY BAD.And as a man i admit i stated wrong.As for lying im a man of my word.And that sir is NO lie.Be right about who you call a liar.And by the way J keep hiding behind your computer and flapping your gums.and don't bother replying back im deleting this forum.Too many anal retentive people on here like yourself and just not worth it anymore.This use to be a good forum a couple of years ago but now.We have the special people invading it.


Edited by pylaker (02/07/13 10:41 PM)

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#1386531 - 02/08/13 01:34 PM Re: Bullying [Re: pylaker]
j3668py Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/10
Posts: 483
Loc: new york
Originally Posted By: pylaker
I did state wrong in my earlier post about graduation.The bullies parents only will be paying for a year and a half of tuition up to 8th grade graduation.MY BAD.And as a man i admit i stated wrong.As for lying im a man of my word.And that sir is NO lie.Be right about who you call a liar.And by the way J keep hiding behind your computer and flapping your gums.and don't bother replying back im deleting this forum.Too many anal retentive people on here like yourself and just not worth it anymore.This use to be a good forum a couple of years ago but now.We have the special people invading it.
Now that you have been exposed you're going by by see you.

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#1386539 - 02/08/13 02:33 PM Re: Bullying [Re: j3668py]
COMETEETS Offline
Member

Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 84
Loc: NY
You people on here were bullied too and so won't your kids....it will keep going on n on....seems to me the people us tax payers pay for that shouldn't have kids but do are the ones that always have problems and are the ones that are bullied...really take a look at working class people and their kids? They are the ones playing sports have friends go to college and get decent jobs....think about it

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#1386562 - 02/08/13 05:26 PM Re: Bullying [Re: COMETEETS]
j3668py Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/10
Posts: 483
Loc: new york
Originally Posted By: COMETEETS
You people on here were bullied too and so won't your kids....it will keep going on n on....seems to me the people us tax payers pay for that shouldn't have kids but do are the ones that always have problems and are the ones that are bullied...really take a look at working class people and their kids? They are the ones playing sports have friends go to college and get decent jobs....think about it
You're right Mean Gene and his gang would kick sand in my face at the beach and take my lunch money at school, but then i took the atlas body building coarse and the bullies scattered like the punks they were when saw my muscles. Don't worry there is hope for your kids, but probably not for you.

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