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#1309885 - 12/01/11 08:23 AM Another Student Took Her Life
cRaZeD
Senior Member


Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 2493
From Spencerport High School, Tuesday evening. My daughter was on her Facebook and kept reading posts from many of her contacts. This indeed did happen, they were talking about it on the radio this morning. The girl was bullied for one reason or another, she called a friend on Tuesday evening and said she needed someone to talk to, the friend basically told her she didn't have time at that moment. That was the last time anybody heard from the girl.

This is very sad and could have been so easily prevented if only someone had seen the signs and reached out to help her. I do know that some local schools have these anti-bullying programs. Midlakes actually had a pro-wrestler come in and put on a presentation to the students in the beginning of the school year. Students were elected by their peers and their teachers to be upstanders instead of bystanders. I am proud to say that my son was chosen as an upstander as he does not tolerate kids picking on others and he stands up for others. If only many more could do this same thing.

I just wish there was more that society as a whole could do to recognize and prevent this abuse.


Edited by KiDcRaZeD (12/01/11 09:30 AM)

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#1309907 - 12/01/11 11:20 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: cRaZeD]
dachshunds_rule
Member


Registered: 11/20/09
Posts: 214
Loc: NY
I wouldnt want to be that "that friend" that didnt have time.Now she has to live with that...sad!
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Live every day like its your last

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#1309934 - 12/01/11 01:27 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: dachshunds_rule]
TLC127
Senior Member


Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 538
The schools have programs in place that do NOT work. Students and parents need to work together to address this. Some people just can't grasp that bullying has changed over the past 10, 20 or 30 years. I have already decided that if my daughter has anymore problems at school we are going directly to the police. I will encourage other parents to do the same.
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#1309938 - 12/01/11 01:38 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: TLC127]
cRaZeD
Senior Member


Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 2493
You're absolutely right. The administrators/Pricinpals/teachers do not want to get involved. They don't want angry, out of control parents (bullies parents) coming back at them.

I remember once when my daughter was in 4th grade (she is now 20), she was being very badly by a group of mean little girls, really harsh words "I'm going to kill you", they placed gum in her hair, they would trip her, etc... This all happened while she was at school, I called the Principal about it and her reply to me "we really don't like to get involved, as we don't know what we're dealing with as far as the girl's parents. It's much wiser for you to directly contact the girl's parents rather than having the school." All fine & dandy if this was happening at my house or the girl's house, but this was happening on school grounds where kids should feel safe, not threatened!!!

It is out of control and schools need to clamp down on the bullies and start listening to the victims, punishing the consistent bullying perpetrators.

Originally Posted By: TLC127
The schools have programs in place that do NOT work. Students and parents need to work together to address this. Some people just can't grasp that bullying has changed over the past 10, 20 or 30 years. I have already decided that if my daughter has anymore problems at school we are going directly to the police. I will encourage other parents to do the same.


Edited by KiDcRaZeD (12/01/11 01:39 PM)

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#1309959 - 12/01/11 02:56 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: cRaZeD]
TLC127
Senior Member


Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 538
My daughter is 14. She has been bullied to the point that she has asked to change schools. I have seen what people had said about her on facebook. Her father and I notified the parents to have the comments removed. Most of them have no idea what their kids are doing on the computers! Thank God this year has been better. She is organizing her own anti-bullying message outside of school. She has even been offered a meeting place for the group members. One of the girls she has had problems with turned my daughter in for bullying. The little cupcake didn't know who my daughter had been talking with and getting help from in forming the group. Needless to say,my daughter was not in trouble. But...the little cupcake didn't get into trouble for making a flase statement either.
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#1309989 - 12/01/11 04:15 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: TLC127]
cRaZeD
Senior Member


Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 2493
That's great that you're daughter is sticking it out at school, instead of moving to another district. A lot of times girls do this due to bullying and end up worse than if they had stayed at their original school. I believe parents need to take a stand and protect their children, if the school officials are not going to. Facebook - that's a whole other story - it's nothing but evil, I don't even have one but I make my teen girls show me their pages and they do get monitored. There was just way too much drama for me on there. I'm glad your daughter has also formed her own anti-bullying message. It would be great if it could really take off and she could many kids involved even from other school districts. Anything it takes to make the teachers, parents, administrators more aware of this problem and to take action against it.

Yes, I graduated in 1987 - it has gotten much worse. We didn't have cell phones, texting, computer networking. That stuff spreads like the plague quicker than you can even blink. At least when we went home from school at night - the bullying was over until the next day. Actually, I was a pretty tiny girl at 4'10" and under 100 lbs., but I did not take crap from anybody and would fight back and pummel someone to the ground. Is it the answer (well, I would like to say "no" but how do you let someone stand there fighting you w/o defending yourself.) Of course, I'd end up in the Principal's office and receive detention while the other girls would not admit their part in the bullying. It was one time I went home with bruises on my arm and scratches on my nose...like a cat got me. When I told my dad what had happened, the next day he drove me into school and marched into the Principal's office declaring that I had been the victim of a fight and because I got in trouble for fighting back the last time, I just let it go. My father told the Principal that I am to fight back and not ever come home looking like I did that one evening. After that, I have to say the Principal took me under his wing and we ended up getting along great. I pretty much never got in trouble for anything after that, and if I saw others picking on people - I stood up to them. I really hate Bullies!!!

Originally Posted By: TLC127
My daughter is 14. She has been bullied to the point that she has asked to change schools. I have seen what people had said about her on facebook. Her father and I notified the parents to have the comments removed. Most of them have no idea what their kids are doing on the computers! Thank God this year has been better. She is organizing her own anti-bullying message outside of school. She has even been offered a meeting place for the group members. One of the girls she has had problems with turned my daughter in for bullying. The little cupcake didn't know who my daughter had been talking with and getting help from in forming the group. Needless to say,my daughter was not in trouble. But...the little cupcake didn't get into trouble for making a flase statement either.

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#1310490 - 12/04/11 11:01 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: cRaZeD]
Jazzmine
Senior Member


Registered: 05/28/01
Posts: 1839
Loc: Waterloo, NY
I have found that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.. If you take it up with the school and they don't do anything keep advocating for your child.. Eventually they will get sick of hearing you and do something about it.

Most schools have a no tolerance policy for bullying. But that doesn't mean they are equipped to handle the bullying or even know how to handle each situation.

I found it funny that they have many anti bullying programs and incentives in the higher grades (middle and high school) but nothing in the intermediate grades 3rd , 4th , 5th where it really should be started!
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Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get

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#1310554 - 12/05/11 05:40 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: Jazzmine]
teedoff27
Senior Member


Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 1681
Loc: S2Hphoto
IMO prevention has to start with the Administration and Teachers FIRST! There are a lot of times where the teachers ALLOW it and sometime join in! There should be SEVERE punishment to the teachers that allow it or join in!

Prime example... In my daughters 12th grade Theory of Knowlege class. They are supposed to do public speaking in the class and try to persuade the students to agree with you stance on a subject. My daughter is very shy and HATES public speaking. In a presentation she can say "umm" numerous times during the presentation due to nervousness. One presentation all the students AND the teacher were laughing and started saying ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm like they were meditating... now she is scared to death to present to the class even more than before!

We handled it with the guidance counselor and administration, but it still doesn't prevent the increase in fear!
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Spiritual people INSPIRE me
Religious people FRIGHTEN me

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#1310555 - 12/05/11 06:07 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: Jazzmine]
DR. D
Senior Member


Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 5738
Loc: Waterloo/Seneca Falls/Junius/T...
Originally Posted By: Jazzmine

I found it funny that they have many anti bullying programs and incentives in the higher grades (middle and high school) but nothing in the intermediate grades 3rd , 4th , 5th where it really should be started!



Agreed 100%

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#1310634 - 12/05/11 06:20 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: DR. D]
twocats
Silver Member


Registered: 02/09/10
Posts: 10731
Loc: NYS
Geneva's anti-bullying program (OLWEUS) begins in kindergarten.
_________________________
Dismiss whatever insults your own soul.

Walt Whitman

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#1310764 - 12/06/11 03:26 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: twocats]
cRaZeD
Senior Member


Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 2493
http://brockport-spencerport.whec.com/ne...istrict-offices
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#1310798 - 12/06/11 06:21 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: cRaZeD]
DR. D
Senior Member


Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 5738
Loc: Waterloo/Seneca Falls/Junius/T...
Another thing I want to add is this, prevention starts at home. Parents need to parent, they need to be aware of what their own children are doing.
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#1310868 - 12/06/11 10:00 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: DR. D]
moosebutt
Member


Registered: 10/28/11
Posts: 169
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: DR. D
Another thing I want to add is this, prevention starts at home. Parents need to parent, they need to be aware of what their own children are doing.


Amen
If they get away from thier own drug abuse they could.
How many children today have both parents?
Parents also need to stay at home on their free time. Most just think about themselves. It`s about me issue they suffer from.
Some shouldn`t even be blessed with children. The child should always be placed first in a marriage.
_________________________
"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace."

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#1311562 - 12/12/11 08:33 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: moosebutt]
Where's the love
Senior Member


Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 5840
Loc: Tahiti - I can dream...
I don't particularly think it matters if a child has 2 parents at home. I don't think it particularly matters if the "child" comes first. I think, if children are loved in any of their homes and listened to, and know who to turn to - given the tools they need BEFORE lifes lessons are dealth out to them - they will get through the tough times.
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Nope...more like borrowing the bull, but not having to put up with the "manure"

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#1311641 - 12/13/11 04:17 PM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: Where's the love]
cRaZeD
Senior Member


Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 2493
It's not about love, nor about having 2 parents. There's this deep dark place called depression. No matter what your network or status might be, depression can afflict many. Just because you have a great family does not mean you will not suffer from depression or another mood disorder. I believe people need to wake up and start watching their children's behavior, if they seem down, depressed, angry, sad then I believe help is needed. Unfortunately, many will just say it's a part of growing up. Not all of it is and until people start accepting depression as a true mental illness, nothing will ever change.
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#1311697 - 12/14/11 03:02 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: cRaZeD]
teedoff27
Senior Member


Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 1681
Loc: S2Hphoto
Where is the "LIKE" button for your post! \:\)

I agree 150%. I grew up without a need or a want and had 2 loving parents at home. It did NOTHING to prevent the negative side effects of my own depression, mood disorder, and the constant 6 hour a day torment from students AND teachers!!
_________________________
Spiritual people INSPIRE me
Religious people FRIGHTEN me

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#1311716 - 12/14/11 08:33 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: teedoff27]
cRaZeD
Senior Member


Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 2493
Thank you. I also know exactly what it's like. While I didn't particularly suffer torment from teachers/students. I had other issues to deal with and when they say that depression/mood disorders run in the family. It is absolutely true. My hereditary genes are from a grandmother which back in the 30's was institutionalized in Great Britain for having a nervous breakdown. My mother attempted suicide after the loss of a child. My brothers/sisters and even now extendeded family of nieces and nephews all have that gene. Luckily I realized after my 5th child, I needed help and it wasn't just PPD. I remember when I told my mother I had talked with my doctor and she jumped on my case telling me that I didn't need any medication or help. That everybody gets the blues once in awhile. Unfortunately, it was taboo years ago to seek help. Thankfully now, its much more recognized and it's ok. But, it takes others to really tell you sometimes and also to be there for you.

Originally Posted By: teedoff27
Where is the "LIKE" button for your post! \:\)

I agree 150%. I grew up without a need or a want and had 2 loving parents at home. It did NOTHING to prevent the negative side effects of my own depression, mood disorder, and the constant 6 hour a day torment from students AND teachers!!

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#1311718 - 12/14/11 08:37 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: cRaZeD]
cRaZeD
Senior Member


Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 2493
Another interesting fact. A study came out saying that those with untreated depression are prone to developing Alzheimer's. My mother developed Alzheimers in her 70's. Unfortunately, after my father passed away. My mother didn't have a network of friends, she didn't socialize much with others outside of the family - she kept to herself, didn't drive and when offere by other seniors to take her to the store, she would decline and call a family member. I'm probably giving too much information, but I believe it's all linked somehow.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=4605479&page=1

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#1311804 - 12/15/11 06:40 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: cRaZeD]
DR. D
Senior Member


Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 5738
Loc: Waterloo/Seneca Falls/Junius/T...
Depression is a nasty thing to deal with however parents no matter what the situation need to take time and LISTEN to their kids. Family is the first line in teaching how to deal with any situation weather the child is the bully or the person being bullied.

The current generation has been spoon fed that everyone is the same and we are all equil, how easy is it to target someone when this has been taught? No one has a thick skin and the smallest thing offends everyone.

The old sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me, has been thrown out the window and God forbid you stick you tounge out at anyone (potential suspention......true story).

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#1311808 - 12/15/11 07:05 AM Re: Another Student Took Her Life [Re: DR. D]
cRaZeD
Senior Member


Registered: 06/16/04
Posts: 2493
Yes, I do agree with that to some extent as well. My 16 year old tells me stories of boys that mouth off to her, luckily I raised my kids with some pretty tough skin. They give it right back and don't take crap from anybody.
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