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#1003308 --- 04/02/09 11:37 PM Your opinion on bullies..
TinaTuna Offline
Member

Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 107
Loc: geneva
Hi. Before I add my opinion, I like to hear from you, the parents.

Has your child[ren] ever been bullied? What did you do? What if the school/counselors do not help?Are bullies in fact just like their parents were at the same age?

thanks

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#1003312 --- 04/03/09 12:31 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: TinaTuna]
reilley Offline
Silver Member

Registered: 01/17/05
Posts: 11744
Loc: between here and there
HA! We have bullies on here ,it is not just in schools or the work place.
Bullies are unfortunatly are in all walks of like..
Getting to bullies in school,many districts have policy on it. If your child is old enough,he/she should do the chain of comand. That is in a handbook. If there is no handbook call the school and find out who the child to talk to . If your child can't talk, or is afraid to , make an appointment to sit with whoever and with your child,have a conversation, if it doesn't work move up to the next in charge.
Good Luck..
I never really had that problem, teachers and administrators all knew me and we all worked together if there was a problem.
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#1003340 --- 04/03/09 04:06 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: reilley]
*Sparkey* Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 02/23/09
Posts: 8263
Loc: Baby Jail
I think kids that Bully copy what they see at home..if all they know is yelling..fighting..name calling..that's how they will behave themselves,so you probably won't get to far with the parents of the Bully.
Some kids just don't know how to control their anger either and they lash out.
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If you won't say it in person...then you shouldn't say it online!

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#1003366 --- 04/03/09 05:07 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: *Sparkey*]
Della Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 12/22/04
Posts: 16305
Loc: Seneca Falls
Originally Posted By: *Sparkey*
I think kids that Bully copy what they see at home..if all they know is yelling..fighting..name calling..that's how they will behave themselves,so you probably won't get to far with the parents of the Bully.
Some kids just don't know how to control their anger either and they lash out.


Yup. I do think you also can't get too involved(I know hard to do) or you can make it worse for your child. They will deal with people like this all through life and unfortunetely need to learn to cope with it on their own. Obviously if it is dangerous or physical that would be different.
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What a shame to have to beg you to see we're not all the same

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#1003447 --- 04/03/09 07:13 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: Della]
TinaTuna Offline
Member

Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 107
Loc: geneva
It just makes me so mad when I hear from my son that a kid in school, that he knows, is getting beat up/pushed or whatever every other day!

It seems like if you aren't a jock, have a reputation of violence/running your mouth or your super cool, by association, You are known as a dweeb.
It's the oldest story in the book. But the world has to seriously update!

I have went to teachers, counselors and the VP. I got more accomplished going to a parent myself.

My son recently signed up for a sport, threw the Y. He begged me to take him out after the first practice. The kids were picking on him on and off the field. Telling him to quit and so on. I wanted to beat their butt's myself!

I don't encourage quiting, with my son. And actually he is starting to stand up for himself, which scares me.

Their was this boy in school that was picking on his friend. My son told him to leave him alone. Boy pushed him, and my son pushed him back. The boys friends chased my son, caught him and told him not to mess w/ their bud or else. I ended up going to the boys mom.

I just donot think the schools stress bullying as much as we think.

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#1003476 --- 04/03/09 07:52 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: TinaTuna]
oops12 Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3924
Loc: Absent
My son had a situation a few years back when he was down at the Rec center. There was a kid who tried to push my son in the canal. When my son told me I lost it. He put my kid in a very dangerous situation. I know the other kid's family and I went right over to their house. My son begged me not to but I walked right in and ripped that kid a new one. I told him he was a lucky boy that I knew his family or the cops would be there right now and If he ever messed with my son again I'd put him in the canal.

That was the nice version of the story. But it seemed to solve the problem. We never had any issues with that kid ever again. I may have handled things differently had I not known his family. I guess I took advantage of being able to freak out on him because of that.

I think I'd go to the parents first. And if that doesn't help go from there. I myself would prefer that a parent come to me directly if they had an issue with my kid. I don't condone bullying and fighting. But I've always told my kids that they don't put their hands on someone else, but if someone else does it to them, I won't punish them for defending themselves.


Edited by FL1 Mod 2 (04/04/09 03:22 PM)
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#1003792 --- 04/03/09 07:57 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: oops12]
Carerinoa Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 3255
Loc: New York
I had a situation with my child in middle school and freshman year. The school was wortless. They don't want to hear about it. I finally told my child to stand up for herself and do whatever she saw fit in the situation and I would back her 110%. Once she did that they moved on to someone who wouldn't fight back. It didn't solve the problem but it did get them off her back.
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#1003921 --- 04/03/09 11:40 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: Carerinoa]
TinaTuna Offline
Member

Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 107
Loc: geneva
Honestly, school's assure you verbally and in print, that your children are in good hands. Yes, there are alot of kids there! But isn't that specifically one of the guidance counselors job requirements? To make sure each kid is happy. And if not, find out why?

Most kids are either afraid or to shy to speak up. Thankfully my son feels comfortable to talk to me now. But lately, he has been keeping that stuff to himself. Which scares the crap out of me! He thinks telling me puts to much stress on me. haha Not telling me drives me mad!

My bud and I sit out infront of the GMS and wait for admisle. Kids come out swearing pushing other kids...we've even seen a few fights. Who stopped them? A parent in a car, eventually.

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#1003946 --- 04/04/09 03:16 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: TinaTuna]
*Sparkey* Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 02/23/09
Posts: 8263
Loc: Baby Jail
There are kids that live a few doors dowm that fight out front with each other all the time..one uses a crutch and the other a bat..I yell out to them to take it home..and they do and the parents do not care or stop them.
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If you won't say it in person...then you shouldn't say it online!

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#1004097 --- 04/04/09 08:28 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: *Sparkey*]
Carerinoa Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 3255
Loc: New York
There were two fights in the HS yesterday and videos being passed around. Care to take bets on what happens to those involved?
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~ Say What You Mean And Mean What You Say ~

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#1004099 --- 04/04/09 08:30 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: *Sparkey*]
Where's the love Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/16/04
Posts: 5841
Loc: Tahiti - I can dream...
Bully's are people that crave attention - be it negative attention - nonetheless - it is what it is. Sometimes, it takes a really BIG person (not age) to just invite the bully into their circle. Find a common ground. My best friend now was my worst bully-ing friend when I was 9. I had a birthday party that I refused to invite her to but had to beacuse my mother made me - during a major snowstorm - she was the only person that could come...we had the best time and have been best buds ever since.
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Nope...more like borrowing the bull, but not having to put up with the "manure"

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#1004152 --- 04/04/09 11:25 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: oops12]
Bing Bong Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 05/12/08
Posts: 2482
Loc: the road to hell
Originally Posted By: oops12
I know the other kid's family and I went right over to their house. My son begged me not to but I walked right in and ripped that kid a new one. I told him he was a lucky boy that I knew his family or the cops would be there right now and If he ever messed with my son again I'd put him in the canal.


I think you need assertiveness training so you won't be such a wuss.


Edited by FL1 Mod 2 (04/04/09 03:23 PM)
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#1004178 --- 04/04/09 12:42 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: Bing Bong]
oops12 Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 10/08/08
Posts: 3924
Loc: Absent
I'm open to suggestions.
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'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

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#1004300 --- 04/04/09 05:06 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: Carerinoa]
*Sparkey* Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 02/23/09
Posts: 8263
Loc: Baby Jail
Originally Posted By: Carerinoa
There were two fights in the HS yesterday and videos being passed around. Care to take bets on what happens to those involved?


Yeah..girls no less..I asked my daughter when I picked her up about a fight and she said,Mom,there were 2 fights..she asked me how I heard it already..I told her when I was getting my nails done,people were talking about it,so I asked her what happened and she said..girls being stupid..
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If you won't say it in person...then you shouldn't say it online!

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#1004318 --- 04/04/09 05:42 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: *Sparkey*]
Carerinoa Offline
Senior Member

Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 3255
Loc: New York
My daughter wasn't even in school Friday. News and cell phone videos travel fast. To bad that energy can't be put to good things.
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~ Say What You Mean And Mean What You Say ~

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#1004323 --- 04/04/09 06:05 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: Carerinoa]
Z Genius Lusifer Offline
Diamond Member

Registered: 11/16/01
Posts: 27999
Loc: inside your head & under your ...
I have a bully stalker chasing me on this forum...
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#1004427 --- 04/04/09 09:48 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: Z Genius Lusifer]
Yetta Nother Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 12/26/06
Posts: 17682
Loc: Sunny and warm
Poor Luci.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died...

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#1004434 --- 04/04/09 10:12 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: Yetta Nother]
Z Genius Lusifer Offline
Diamond Member

Registered: 11/16/01
Posts: 27999
Loc: inside your head & under your ...
yeah....he is a real pyscho bully too....
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Humble genius to the humanities & politicians

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#1010366 --- 04/16/09 06:07 PM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: Z Genius Lusifer]
Red High Heels Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/07
Posts: 453
Loc: Geneva, NY
The best poem out there is:

"Children Live What They Learn"

And...it is oh so true...

Bullies are cowards and can only find happiness in trying to bring others down, usually they are jealous insecure individuals looking for attention. The more a victim plays into their acts, the worse it becomes. Going to the Principal and Counselor is the right approach, if however the bullying becomes serious - don't ever rule out contacting the authorities of the law.

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#1011869 --- 04/20/09 07:59 AM Re: Your opinion on bullies.. [Re: TinaTuna]
Offline
Gold Member

Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 17154
Originally Posted By: TinaTuna
Hi. Before I add my opinion, I like to hear from you, the parents.

Has your child[ren] ever been bullied? What did you do? What if the school/counselors do not help?Are bullies in fact just like their parents were at the same age?

thanks


School officials won't be any help. Press charges, or get a bigger bully to kick the crap out of them.

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