Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting

Posted by: Anonymous

Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 10:42 AM

Fall is coming and it won't be long now.

"The Deer Hunt"

1:00am Alarm clock rings

2:00am Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed

2:30am Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pick-up

3:00am Leave home for deep woods

3:15am Drive back home and pick up gun

3:30am Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight

4:00am Set up camp - Realize that you forgot the damned tent

4:30am Head out into woods

6:05am See eight (8) deer

6:06am Take aim and squeeze trigger

6:07am "Click"

6:08am Load gun while watching deer go over the hill

8:00am Head back to camp

9:00am Still looking for camp

10:00am Realize you don't know where the camp is

-Noon- Fire gun for help - eat some wild berries

12:15pm Ran out of bullets - 8 deer come back

12:20pm Strange feeling in stomach

12:30pm Realize you ate poison berries

12:45pm Rescued!!

12:55pm Rushed to the hospital to have stomach pumped

3:00pm Arrive back at camp

3:30pm Leave camp to kill deer

4:00pm Return to camp for bullets

4:01pm Load gun - leave camp again

5:00pm Empty gun on squirrel that is really bugging you

6:00pm Arrive at camp. See deer grazing in camp.

6:01pm Load Gun

6:02pm Fire gun

6:03pm One Dead Truck

6:05pm Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer!

6:06pm Suppress strong desire to shoot partner

6:07pm In doing so, stumble and fall into fire

6:10pm Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire

6:15pm Take pick-up, leave partner and his deer in woods

6:25pm Pick-up boils over - discover bullet hole in radiator

6:26pm Start walking

6:30pm Started crying, stumble and fall, drop gun in mud

6:35pm Meet great big Bear!

6:35pm Take aim

6:36pm Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud.

6:36pm Lose all control of bodily functions.

6:37pm Climb tree

9:00pm Bear departing, wraps gun around the tree

9:03pm Feeling relieved that bear is gone

9:04pm Start climbing down the tree

9:05pm Fall out of tree

-Midnight- Home at last

-Sunday- Sitting in bed with cast on leg watching TV,
slowly tearing hunting license into itty-bitty pieces,
place into envelope, mail to the Game Warden
with very clear instructions about what to do with it!
Posted by: AnneSmile

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 11:01 AM

I probably know that hunter HAHAHA

Here is Calvin and Hobbes

Posted by: Love PY

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 11:07 AM

Outstanding, I'm still laughing!
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting *DELETED* - 09/02/08 12:19 PM

Post deleted by Barbara
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:21 PM

From Barry McGuire's "Eve of Destruction"

The northern woods, soon be explodin'
Spam's a packin', pick-ups loadin'
You're told your boss you're ill
But you're jus goad'n
You'll never shoot a doe
Then what's that tag your totin'
Yes, soon your float'n liver, and fat belly's bloat'n

But you tell me
Over and over again my friend
You might perceive we're on
The eve of hunt season

You'll hunt state land, you don't have to pay
Can't you see other hunters a few yards away
If a button is whacked, just cover it with hay
There'll be no jeers your way
With that fawn in a grave
Take a look around you boy
No one saw you shoot it boy

But you tell me
Over and over again my friend
You just deceived, we're on
The eve of hunt season

My guts so bad
Feels like coagulatin'
And I'm just squattin' here
Constipatin'
I drank too much vermouth
I got dehydration
A hand full of roll-aids
Won't stop this sensation
And starches alone
Ain't 'nuff medication
When willful neglect
Makes a regurgitation
The whole damn woods
Smells of flagellation

But you tell me
Over and over again my friend
You've just heaved up and on
The eve of hunt season

Just think of all the bait
In front and behind ya
Don't drag that deer to far
Remember your angina
You might leave here
For your secret place
But when back from lunch
Some bum's in your space
The eating of more tums
You howl when displaced
You should just stay in bed
And leave your gun in its case
And berate your fence sitt'n neighbor
But forget when face to face

But you tell me over and over again my friend
You're so aggrieved we're on
The eve of hunt season
Yeah, so relieved we're on
The end of hunt season
Posted by: AnneSmile

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:22 PM

Um, I like you Barbara but I think this is a bit much
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting *DELETED* - 09/02/08 12:24 PM

Post deleted by Barbara
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:26 PM

Sorry Anne... thought it would be a good one for the guys
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:28 PM

there I deleted the bad ones
Posted by: AnneSmile

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:28 PM

I like jokes like that too but the ones that are border line I post on MySpace or PM someone I think would find it funny.

FL1 has stricter guidelines, don't want to see you become Barbara2.0 LOL
Posted by: AnneSmile

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:29 PM

Sorry, I don't want to be a prude. PM me the good ones
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:43 PM

I will try to be a good girl lol
Posted by: AnneSmile

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:45 PM

NOOOOOOOO, that would be no fun. Check out my bulletin on MySpace
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:48 PM


we are both such good girls...lmao
Posted by: AnneSmile

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:53 PM

No secret that my horns help hold my cracked halo up on my head ;\)





Where is everyone today?
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:54 PM

I am sure they are working...
Posted by: AnneSmile

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 12:55 PM

Mutli tasking, its what I do \:\) But then again my job can be extremely boring at times.

And no, I don't work for any county or city offices so taxpayer money is not being wasted ;\)
Posted by: SkySoldier

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 01:30 PM

Originally Posted By: AnneSmile
I probably know that hunter HAHAHA

Here is Calvin and Hobbes



I am Calvin.
Posted by: SkySoldier

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 01:51 PM

Blueberry hill a ville


I'm up in my tree stand.

Can't see my bow hand.

How I got here I havn't a clue.

But the dawn is a risin'

and soon be providin'

All the deer trails below me to view.

I'm wastin away again on Blue Berry hill
Seaching for that huge, record book buck
Some people say, he'll never come my way
but I know

It's all in the Gawd dang luck.


Some say this is a blood sport

And God knows I've bled quarts

To rippers and thorns

and falling from trees

I've even broken both knees

I'm wastin away again on Blue Berry hill
Seaching for that huge record book buck
Some people say
he'll never come my way
but I know ..........

It's all in the Gawd dang luck.


Ah, but here comes a good one

tho he's on a dead run

I draw my bow back

* dam *

and fall from the tree

Aw, this can't happen to me!

Flat on my back now

the buck's gone and how

I'll get home is all pain in a dream

there's even crap in my jeans

I'm wastin away again on Blue Berry hill
Seaching for that huge record book buck
Some people say
he'll never come my way
but I know ..........

It's all in the Gawd dang luck.
Posted by: AnneSmile

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 02:01 PM

I love Calvin, my favorite ones are with the snowmen \:\)
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Fall is coming and so is Deer Hunting - 09/02/08 03:19 PM

lol about blueberry hill