Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character

Posted by: Ghosts

Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/02/13 02:27 PM

The article is a bit dated, but I found it very interesting and relevant. Your thoughts?

NOVEMBER 30, 2010 12:00 A.M.
Self-Esteem and Character

Want to raise a good person? Stop nurturing your child’s self-esteem.


By now, most people (with the exception of many psychotherapists) recognize that the self-esteem movement officially launched by California in 1986 has been at best silly, and at worst injurious to society, despite whatever small benefit it may have had to some individuals.

The movement was begun by California assemblyman John Vasconcellos. As the New York Times reported, “Mr. Vasconcellos, a 53-year-old Democrat, is described by an aide as ‘the most radical humanist in the Legislature.’”

In an interview at the time, Mr. Vasconcellos told me he had personally benefited from therapy. It enabled him to improve the poor self-esteem he had inherited from his childhood. He therefore concluded that improving other people’s self-esteem would greatly help society.

And so, California created its Task Force to Promote Self-esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility, whose guiding principle was to raise young people’s self-esteem in order to increase the number of socially responsible people in society.

This belief — that increasing self-esteem will increase goodness in society — spread through the rest of America like proverbial wildfire.

It turns out, however, that the premise was entirely misguided. There is no correlation between goodness and high self-esteem. But there is a correlation between criminality and high self-esteem.

Florida State University professor Roy Baumeister (Ph.D. psychology, Princeton University) has revealed that in a lifetime of study of violent criminals, the one characteristic nearly all these criminals share is high self-esteem.

Yes, people with high self-esteem are the ones most prone to violence.

The 1960s and ’70s ushered in what I refer to as the Age of Feelings. And one of the most enduring feelings-based notions that came out of that era was that it was critically important that children feel good about themselves. High self-esteem, it was decided, should be imparted to children — no matter how undeserving — whenever possible. That is why boys on losing teams are given trophies, why more and more high schools have ceased naming a valedictorian (lest the other graduates feel bad about themselves), why some states have abolished winning and losing in children’s soccer games (lest those on the losing teams suffer low self-esteem), etc.

A friend of mine provided me with a perfect illustration. At a Little League baseball game, he saw a pitch thrown a few feet above the batter’s head. Needless to say, the batter didn’t swing. But to my friend’s amazement, he heard both the batter’s father and coach yell out, “Good eye!”

For those who don’t know baseball, it does not take a “good eye” not to swing at a ball thrown over one’s head. It takes a functioning eye.

One result of all this has been a generation that thinks highly of itself for no good reason. Perhaps the most famous example is the survey of American high-school students and those of seven other countries. Americans came in last in mathematical ability but first in self-esteem about their mathematical ability.

But it turns out that feeling good about oneself for no good reason — as destructive as that is — is not the biggest problem.

Psychologist John Rosemond, a child-rearing expert, recently opened my eyes to the even more troubling problem: High self-esteem in children does not produce good character, and in fact is likely to produce a less moral individual.

This flies in the face of perhaps the deepest-held conviction among the present generation, as well as the baby boomers: that it is a parent’s fundamental obligation to ensure that his child has high self-esteem.

http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/254092/self-esteem-and-character-dennis-prager
Posted by: VM Smith

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/03/13 10:57 AM

Quote:
As the New York Times reported, “Mr. Vasconcellos, a 53-year-old Democrat, is described by an aide as ‘the most radical humanist in the Legislature.’”

In an interview at the time, Mr. Vasconcellos told me he had personally benefited from therapy. It enabled him to improve the poor self-esteem he had inherited from his childhood. He therefore concluded that improving other people’s self-esteem would greatly help society.


It's entirely fitting that he should have had low self-esteem...he's stupid. I'll bet, now that he's pushed through a stupid law, he's just puffed up with self-esteem, and is strutting like a Banty rooster. Problem solved!
Posted by: BrumWife

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/03/13 01:39 PM

I'm trying to figure out what law he pushed through? I didnt see that from the article, only referencing a self-esteem movement. Was there some law in California VM? Could you post me a link? I'd be curious to see it. Thanks.
Posted by: Ghosts

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/03/13 02:21 PM

Vasconcellos authored AB3659, which established the self-esteem task force in 1986, when George Deukmejian was governor of California and Ronald Reagan president of the United States.


http://www.calwatchdog.com/2010/07/29/retrospective-a-state-of-esteem/
Posted by: Kitty

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/04/13 06:14 AM

[url=How not to raise narcissists]http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/02/19/how-not-to-raise-deluded-narcissist/?intcmp=features[/url]
Posted by: Ghosts

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/04/13 06:55 AM



Good article. Not all children are afflicted, of course. I hope that parents have the ability to recognize narcissism in their children, understand it, and have the strength to address and change what's happening. Narcissistic parents tend to produce narcissistic children. Unless broken, the cycle will continue.
Posted by: I did it!

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/05/13 06:59 PM

Glad I came to this issue.
Answers why Obama/Cuomo have a BIG PROBLEM.
Posted by: BrumWife

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/08/13 04:33 PM

Thank you for the info Ghosts.
Posted by: I did it!

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/09/13 02:45 AM

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself. It sure does.Just go ask Obama & Cuomo they know best. Almost beating Jane Fonda's record
Posted by: Ghosts

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/09/13 12:03 PM

You're welcome. I wish more parents and educators would take an interest. Children need to be prepared for the real world.
Posted by: I did it!

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/09/13 02:39 PM

Originally Posted By: Ghosts
You're welcome. I wish more parents and educators would take an interest. Children need to be prepared for the real world.


Ghost I feel the same way. I'm still waiting for the real world
to come about.
Posted by: VM Smith

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 03/10/13 10:33 PM

Originally Posted By: BrumWife
I'm trying to figure out what law he pushed through? I didnt see that from the article, only referencing a self-esteem movement. Was there some law in California VM? Could you post me a link? I'd be curious to see it. Thanks.



The article said that Vasconcello started the movement, and that a task force was created. I figured it was created by a law, and I remembered a flap when it happened, although I didn't remember much detail:

http://www.nytimes.com/1986/10/11/us/now-the-california-task-force-to-promote-self-esteem.html
Posted by: leogreen

Re: Your Child's Self-Esteem and Character - 02/19/19 12:32 AM

Originally Posted By: Ghosts
Originally Posted By: Kitty


Good article. Not all children are afflicted, of course. I hope that parents have the ability to recognize narcissism in their children, understand it, and have the strength to address and change what's happening. Narcissistic parents tend to produce narcissistic children. Unless broken, the cycle will continue.


Some parents are also narcissistic, so there can be a rounded circle in searching for a narcissist.